Going Through Divorce? Don’t Be Too Nice

It was just like a dream — you were walking down the aisle while wearing a pretty gown, or was watching your future bride walk towards the altar while wearing your well-done suit. You were married to the person whom you thought is the one.

The first few months of your marriage was good; you still go on cheesy dates and have been planning for your future. However, you start noticing that your relationship is taking a bitter turn. You ignore it at first until it becomes evident, as you get into fights more often. What could be worse is when one of you does something unforgivable, to the point that you would like to file for a divorce.

You may have heard that getting even or seeking revenge during divorce can backfire later on. This is especially true for those who are willing to take it to the extreme, especially in punishing their ex-partners. This can invite more anger and hostility, as well as make the process longer and more expensive. This is why many of those who know better try to practice the act of kindness or aim for an amicable divorce. Of course, don’t be too nice.

It Should Be Mutual

If you’re aiming for a friendly settlement in divorce, you should know that being nice could work either in or against your favor. This is beneficial when you (and your ex-spouse) are willing to negotiate and compromise, as well as care for each other’s feelings. You should know, however, that being too nice is not advisable, especially if your spouse cannot do the same or if this requires you to put other people’s interests first.

Don’t Give Away Too Much

While you may have good intentions in trying to avoid anger, arguments, or conflicts, you should know that it could sometimes backfire. If keeping up the marital home, for instance, means giving up a significant amount of money as well as your liquid assets, you need to think twice. Family lawyers in Kent and other parts of Washington suggest consulting an expert first to make sure that you are not giving away too much.

Hire a Divorce Attorney

Divorce attorney

If your ex-spouse seems apathetic about you and the case, you cannot be extremely nice and be a “yes” person all the time. This is why it makes sense to have a family or a divorce attorney by your side. Having the right legal representation can evaluate your case, protect your rights, and get what you deserve. This can help you get a fair settlement and avoid disowning something that is rightfully yours.

It is okay to say “no” even if it could mean disagreements between you and your spouse (and kids, if you have one). You just have to make sure that what you’re doing is fair and what’s best in the long-term. This is because your decision can affect your life in the future, especially financially.  It is advisable to talk to your attorney about what you want and need, so you can set boundaries when fighting for what is right.